The recent film release, based on the book series, 50 Shades of Grey, has caught the attention of many people and some have claimed it represents aspects of BSDM. However, many in the kink community are opposed to being associated with this franchise, saying that it ignores several key principles of BDSM.
BSDM can be divided into 3 aspects: BD – Bondage and Discipline, DS – Dominance and Submission, and SM – Sadism and Masochism. The Dominance and Submission, which together creates a Power Exchange Relationship, is the relationship type portrayed in 50 Shades of Grey with elements of bondage, sadism and masochism thrown in. In 50 Shades of Grey, Mr Grey is the dominant in the relationship but sometimes it’s women, or ‘dommes’ or ‘femdoms’ as they are known, that take the lead in their particular relationship. The amount of power exchange in D/s relationship is completely variable. Some couples keep it to the bed whereas others send 24/7 in their roles.
“Play” is basically a casual, one off scene. Neither a scene nor play necessarily contains D/s power dynamics but when it does the person taking the lead is referred to as the ‘top’ whilst the other is the ‘bottom’. People that enjoy both sides of the coin are called ‘switches’.
In short, BDSM is a broad term for a variety of erotic practices that does not always include sexual penetration; including restraint and bondage, dominance and submission, control, erotic roleplay, spanking/whipping/flogging, golden shower (urinating), strap-on play, suspension, wax, needle and knife play, voyeurism and exhibitionism, and more. However, using these sexual practices does not mean you are practicing BDSM.
BDSM is also not always in a one-on-one setting (relationship based or professional services). Most population centres have established BDSM communities, parties (commonly known as kink parties) and nightclubs specifically for people wishing to practice BDSM. When they aren’t bruising each other’s bottoms they often gather together to discuss their shared interests at munches.
If you are interested in the world of BDSM do some research and discover what interests you. Check out FetLife.com a social connection website for kinksters and fetishists, or if you want a more personalised experience there are professional services available.
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